Tuesday, April 17, 2012




ELDERLY WOMAN FOUND HANGING UPSIDE DOWN FROM TREE IN CENTER OF TOWN 
Granville residents awoke this morning to a horrifying sight; a local elderly woman was discovered hanging upside down from the mulberry tree in the middle of town, specific time and cause of death unknown. Surrounding streets have been roped off for the day, the authorities keeping the crime scene closed due to expected unrest and unruly behavior from the town’s youth.  Children had to be removed from the area after they were caught throwing rocks at the hanging corpse, recently identified as the same woman who spoke out so violently against Granville’s neighborhood benefactor, Joe, at last night’s town hall meeting. In light of the horrific event, Joe holds no grudges, saying, “I had wanted to in fact thank her for stating her honest opinion last night, and still wish I had the opportunity. Everyone should have the chance to speak their piece. I am shocked and greatly saddened by this morning’s events.” It is no doubt that the town shares Joe’s point of view, and looks to the generous leader for guidance at such a time.




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